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Below are some true stories we've received from women who have been to Crisis Pregnancy Centers. The center's name and location has been provided when available.
If you have a story to share, please send it via our Contact Us page. Please include your first name and the location (city/state will be fine) of the CPC you visited. Feel free to use a fake name if you prefer.
Harassment and Breach of Confidentiality
While I love my son dearly, I can’t pretend the way he came
into the world was anything close to ideal. I was eighteen years old, a first-semester student at Grand Valley State
University in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I
became pregnant by my fiancé (now my husband) sometime in August of that year
and found out just before Halloween. Once my pregnancy test from the pharmacy turned blue, I remembered
seeing a place called Pregnancy Resource Center in town and figured that would
be a good place to start. I called the
number in the phone book to make an appointment. I noticed some strange things about the
receptionist’s language, but figured that must have been typical of all family
planning clinics for security purposes. I made an appointment for the following day.
I don’t know what I was planning to do once I walked through
the doors of the Resource Center. I
hadn’t considered abortion explicitly, but wanted to know more. Like so many confused young women who get
pregnant by accident, I just wanted to hear what my options were. That’s what the Resource Center
promised. What I got was entirely
different. While awaiting my results of the
same EPT test I’d already taken (the kind that takes like 2 minutes), I was
forced to watch these videos about “fetal pain” and saw a sensationalized
ultrasound that featured a fetus “retreating” from the abortion tools. The video also showed a lot of pictures of “aborted
fetuses” which I thought was weird because I’d seen my older sister’s 20 week
ultrasound and it hadn’t looked like this video at all. These photos almost looked like the pictures
from Iraq of the dead babies on the street following the Fallujah massacre:
heads, eyes, mouths, fingers, toes, and even some hair. I remember thinking, “Is that really a
fetus?!” The video said it was a fetus
at 8 weeks. I was probably 10
weeks. I didn’t want to be there
anymore.
The staff member eventually walked in and told me the test
was positive. I said, “Does that mean I’m
pregnant?” She said, “Your test was
positive.” She handed me a pamphlet
about adoption. I didn’t know what to
think. I asked her about abortion and
she told me that if I murdered my baby I would go to hell. She said I would probably get breast cancer
or commit suicide, or be infertile. It
didn’t seem right. I started to
leave. The woman told me that if I left
without signing up with this adoption agency, she’d call my parents and tell
them I was going to murder their grandbaby. I started to get sick. She
threatened to call me at home, to come to my house, and to tell all my friends
I was pregnant if I didn’t sign up. I
finally ran for it. Unfortunately they
had my phone number and address. They
called my dorm roommate and somehow got her to give them my parent’s phone
number. Fortunately, I had gotten to my
parents first and told them everything. They
hired a lawyer and got the Resource Center to stop harassing me.
I eventually did go to a Planned Parenthood and, through
talking to staff there, learned all about abortion, adoption, and
parenting. With the support of my
parents and my fiancé, as well as the wonderful people at the Planned Parenthood,
I decided to keep the baby. I think
maybe I was going to anyway, not that I have anything against abortion. It just wasn’t for me at that time. And I got amazing pre-natal care with a midwife
that the Planned Parenthood referred me to.
My best advice for anyone who finds themselves in this
situation would be to be honest with your parents before the agency can get to
them first. If you find you’ve been to
one, tell your friends to be on the watch for these people. Don’t listen to what they tell you about your
options because they’re not doctors and don’t know anything. Oh, and if you so much as have a lawyer call
them they’ll probably back down.
Sandra
Grand Rapids, MI
Creating Guilt and Shame
When my period was late, I went to a place called "Problem
Pregnancy Center" that advertised free pregnancy tests. When I was waiting I was in a small room
watching bloody and disgusting videos about abortion. After the video they told me I was
pregnant. I got an ultrasound there
too. They said I was 12 weeks
along. They said I was too far along to
have a legal abortion in my state. I
knew this was wrong and realized I wasn’t in the right place. I screamed at the staff and left in a huff,
saying I was going to have an abortion somewhere else. Whoops. I didn’t mean to do that, it was definitely a  mistake. But I was so angry that they were lying! A few days later, my mom got an anonymous
phone call that said I’d killed her grandbaby. I was infuriated and humiliated. Fortunately my mom was understanding and said she would have done the same
thing but wishes I had talked to her first because she knew of a good clinic
and I wouldn’t have ended up in this terrible place. I felt so happy and relieved. Seven months later, I got a card in the
mail. It said, “Congratulations on Your
New Baby!" but it was splattered with red paint or ink. Every year after that, I’d get a Happy
Birthday card made for children, except they’re all splattered with red
paint. We couldn’t get them to stop legally because
there was no proof the Crisis Center was sending them. I
finally stopped receiving the cards when I moved out of the state and didn’t
leave behind a forwarding address. This place was awful. I knew instantly that they didn’t want to help me but to torment
me. And after I had the abortion, I was
really fine. But once I started getting
those cards, I wasn’t. All that guilt
they said I would have if I had an abortion came true, but only because they
created it. I would have been fine,
honestly. I had no moral opposition to
abortion, but they put that into my head and it still to this day haunts
me. It’s like they create guilt and
unhappiness in order to prove that you’ll be guilty and depressed.
Lisa
St.Paul,MN
There is a Crisis Center near me: CareNet Pregnancy Center of the Upper Valley,
1 Main St, West Lebanon, NH 03784. When I was shadowing in Planned Parenthood
for a Reproductive Choices elective, a young woman (16 or 17) came in to get an
abortion. She wanted to do it medically but was just barely too far along. She
had visited CareNet previously with the incorrect impression that they gave
REAL options counseling. The delay caused by her visit and the misinformation
they gave her meant that she had to wait even longer to get her procedure and
had to do it surgically.
Emily
West Lebanon, NH
Deception and Misinformation
I had a condom break during sex and I knew I needed to get
PlanB. At this time it was not available
over the counter, so I had to find a clinic. I went to one called “Women’s Center of Chicago” which advertised family
planning stuff in their phone book ad. When I got there, a woman in a white lab coat told me there was a 48
hour waiting period on PlanB. This
didn’t seem right to me but I was confused and disparate so I went along with
it. I came back two days later and was
told that it was too late to take PlanB. They said I might already be pregnant and PlanB could harm the
baby. So they gave me a pregnancy
test. While I was waiting on my results,
I was put in a room and made to watch a video about abortion. The video showed a large fetus being torn
apart piece by piece in the womb. I
thought I was going to be sick. After
the video the woman told me I wasn’t pregnant. She handed me all this stuff about abstinence. I left nearly in tears. It wasn’t until recently that I learned I had
gone to a “Crisis Center” and that there was neither a 48 hour waiting period
on PlanB nor was anyone in the place a doctor. I feel happy that I wasn’t pregnant but I am angry because if I had been
pregnant it would have been their fault for making me wait for PlanB.
Tyra
Chicago, IL
"What About the Father?"
In 1993 I was fairly certain that I had become pregnant after a
non-consensual sexual encounter (that part becomes important later). I
remember passing a pregnancy center to and from work on High Street in
Columbus, OH and decided one day that I would stop in and confirm my
suspicion. The women were older and seemed nice enough when I walked
in. There were photo's of babies and children's magazines throughout
but it did not strike  me as odd; probably because I had an eighth month
old son at home and was used to seeing these things in a doctors
office. When I became uncomfortable and fairly certain that something
was not right was when one of these women continued to ask me where the
"father" was. I reluctantly explained that I had not wanted to have
sex but that it was forced upon me by the father of my eighth month old
son (I completely broke down since this was the first time that I had
said it aloud). I was afraid they would want me to report the rape and
I was scared for my life at that point and not planning on going to the
authorities. But they didn't even mention it; of course, I was
thankful at the time. When my test came back positive and I asked to
schedule an abortion they asked me, "What about the father... doesn't he
have a say? This baby is his too." I felt so sick. I couldn't
believe they would say that... the father? The father
was a rapist. I just grabbed my things and ran out while they
attempted to stop me and they continued to ask how I could "kill
someone's baby". I remember I was so angry that I wrote them a letter a
few months after I terminated my pregnancy thanking them for helping me
make that choice and dropped it by on my way out of town. Fifteen
years later and I still smile at that part. Kelly
Columbus, OH
Delaying Services until it's Too Late
This was about ten years ago but I still think about it to this day. A close friend of mine tried to hide her pregnancy for a
long time, as if it would just go away. I finally convinced her to see someone. She went to a place called CareNet, a place we had seen advertisements
for in a local paper. It promised a free
pregnancy test, sonograms, and reproductive option counseling. She was wooden
by the time she went and was most likely completely separated from her
pregnancy. So despite the propaganda
videos, the pamphlets, and pressure from the center's staff, she decided she
wanted to have an abortion. They told her that there was a week-long waiting
period that she had to go through to be sure she really wanted it. She went back a week later still set on
having the procedure. The receptionist said, “I’m sorry, I seem to have lost
record of your appointment. Come back in
four days when the doctor will be here next.” When she went back in four days, they told
her the doctor was sick. I told her it
seemed sketchy and that she should go to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The nearest one was 45 miles away. Because of her work schedule, she was only
able to go five days after that. When
she arrived at the clinic they told her she was 17 weeks along. In our state you can only have an abortion up
to 16 weeks unless it’s an emergency. I
was so upset. She was forced to carry to
term and give the baby up for adoption. Giving up the baby made her really
depressed. She was alienated from her
social circles and the people around town because she was young and
unmarried. She eventually got fired from
her job because of her excessive absences. She went into major debt paying her own healthcare bills because she
didn’t have insurance anymore. To this day she lives
with unimaginable guilt for not addressing her pregnancy sooner, for going to a
fake clinic, and most of all for giving her baby up for adoption.
Susan
Bedford, IN
Harassment
While I did not personally visit a CPC, years ago when I was employed
by an abortion clinic (operated independently of Planned Parenthood),
periodically employees/volunteers (I was never sure of their status.
Only saw their name tags, and some of the nurses would recognize them)
would let themselves into our waiting room.
Once there, they would wait until they found a specfic person they were
looking for. They always had names and recognized the patients. Then
they would separate the poor girl (often a teenager with her mother)
from the other patients, often from her support group that came with
her, and explain what a 'moral sin' she was committing. A number of
times, our security (always an off-duty police officer) had to evict
these people from the premises.
They insisted they were not violating the law requiring them to be a
certain number of feet from the property because they were not
protesting. We told them they were harrassing and threatened lawsuits.
Eventually they ceased, but this happened a number of times in the late
90s in Columbus, Georgia.
"B"
Columbus, GA
Post Abortion Support
I was a little surprised when I experienced some emotional trouble
following my abortion. I had no moral opposition to the procedure had
always thought of myself as a strong-willed champion of women’s rights.
Maybe it was going through the process more or less on my own that was
the main mistake. The emotional trouble was nothing serious you
understand; just a few feelings of loss that made me want to talk with
someone. I had seen ads in my college newspaper about post-abortion
support services. The group seemed cool and approachable enough. They
adopted language that mirrored terms used in women’s rights movements:
“empowerment,” “freedom,” etc. Best of all for this poor college
student, it was free. So I went to talk to someone.
The first thing I noticed about the place was how the language changed
almost immediately. The groovy ads with words like “empowerment” were
replaced by wall posters picturing grief-stricken women and words like
“forgiveness.” I wondered if I was in the right place! But I checked
my address, and I was. So I began my session. I told the counselor
straight up that I wasn’t looking for anything like “forgiveness” as
the majority of their posters and pamphlets described. I was just
looking for someone to talk to. She said we’d get to that but first I
needed to fill out some forms.
The forms were no better. They used language like “kill” and “baby”
where I would have used “terminate,” “abort,” and “fetus.” “Describe
how you felt when you first realized you’d killed your baby?” “How
angry are you at yourself?” And worst of all, “How has this affected
your relationship with God?” Oh man. I was in the wrong place, but I
answered the questions as best I could. I said I didn’t feel I’d
killed a baby, that I wasn’t angry at myself, and that my God was a
forgiving God and that I didn’t want to get into any sort of religious
conversation today. I put under “other comments” that I really just
wanted a place to vent about my experience and get it all out there so
I could feel better. This was immediately taken as denial. They said
I was obviously in serious distress, and that I needed serious healing.
I felt like they were trying to make me guilty, like they were trying
to throw fire and brimstone at me instead of helping me. I never went
back.
I spoke with a dear friend of mine that night about my experience. She
was a graduate student studying psychology and wanted me to tell her
everything that happened at this place, a place she had pin-pointed
long ago as a CPC. She asked if any of the counselors introduced
themselves as doctors. I told her none had even introduced themselves.
She told me the language they used was a problem, that a good
counselor should have adopted the language I was using to describe my
experience (“fetus” and “abortion” instead of “baby” and “murder”), and
she told me about Exhale, the pro-woman after-abortion hotline. I
called the hotline the next day and spoke with someone for about an
hour and a half. That was all it took! I told my story, how I was
feeling, and the woman on the other end of the line listened and let me
speak. I felt so much better.
Jeanette
Austin, TX
Note: The Exhale After-Abortion Talkline can be reached at
www.4exhale.org or by calling 1-866-439–4253.
Mobile Pregnancy Units
I had an appointment at my local Planned Parenthood clinic
to get birth control and a pap test. When I got there, there was a large RV covering the entrance to the
building. It had a huge sign in the
window that said “New Clients Register Here.” So I went in. All the paper work
said “PP” on it in a similar style as Planned Parenthood uses. I gave all my information, and said I was
visiting to get my annual exam and get a prescription for the Pill. I was led into the back of the RV behind a
curtain and told to watch a brief video while I waited. The video talked about how oral contraception
can make women infertile and aren’t but 80% effective. It also said that if a woman gets pregnant
while taking the Pill, the Pill will “kill the baby.” While I was in there, several of the staff
from the real clinic (I'm guessing) came out and started beating on the window and screaming
things like, “That’s not the clinic! You’re
in the wrong place!” I tried to leave
but the woman who had signed me in didn’t want to let me leave until the video
was over. But I pushed past her and went
into the clinic. They told me almost all new clients go there first and
get bad information, and they usually try to watch for people going in so they can come out and yell into the RV.
The next weekend, my mom called me. She said she'd gotten a call from some sort of family planning service telling her that I was sexually active and seeking birth control. I was 25 years old at the time!! To this day I have no idea how they got my mom's number.
Sara
Sarasota, FL
Lectures and Inappropriate Conduct
I went to a "crisis pregnancy center" in Charlottesville,
VA when I was 19 years old (7 years ago now). I will never forget that terrible experience. Thankfully I was not pregnant, but while I
waited for the results of the test - and they made me wait extra long - a woman
asked me questions about my sexual partner and made me answer questions about
what I would do if I were pregnant, and since I wasn't really sure and since my
partner and I were not planning on having kids, did I really think it was a
good idea for us to be having sexual relations?, etc, etc. She asked me
about my religious upbringing and my current practice and on and on, all while I
was waiting for the results of a pregnancy test that I could have bought one over
the counter for 10 or 15 bucks. It was a terrible experience. Really
wretched. I was nervous enough at that time and the conversations they
were trying to engage me in were totally inappropriate.
Lucy
Charlottesville, VA
"Scare Tactics and Distortions"
"Open Arms" is a
radical anti-choice organization that has operated in Columbia, MO for about 15
years. I don't know the exact address; it is located on North
Providence very close to our Planned Parenthood clinic. I practiced family
medicine in Columbia for 22 years and would occasionally have patients who told
me about the tactics used by the Open Arms staff to deter women from having
their pregnancies terminated - the usual scare tactics and distortions and
outright lies about breast cancer, emotional problems, sterility, etc.
There is a heavy religious content to their propaganda. One woman
told me that she was told by someone at Open Arms that she would "burn in hell
for all eternity" if she had an abortion. Several years ago when the state
legislature was considering cutbacks of Medicaid (which were unfortunately made)
that would stop coverage for over 100,000 people, I called Open Arms to see if
they were opposing this, reasoning that pregnant women would be more likely to
choose abortion if they had no medical insurance. Interestingly, the
person I talked to knew nothing about the proposed cutbacks, despite extensive
media coverage and debate. The person then indicated that she didn't care
about the cutbacks because they would not affect pregnancy decisions. She
also indicated that the organization was focusing on getting the legislature to
pass a law making it a crime for anyone to help a minor travel to another state
for an abortion. She said that this would greatly reduce abortions (In
reality such events were very rare.). This is definitely an organization
that should be on your radar screen; they do a lot of
damage.
"R"
Columbia, MO |
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